Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Ode To The Lump of Bird Poop on my car Door Handle

This dawn is in ruins
O lump of fecal deposit plummeting from heavens
Why must thou fall upon my handle
Why must thou stab at my form with such passion

The day beginning like the rose
Rising with the sun in morning
Basking in the warm comfort of dew
Fully satisfied and content

Why am I now forsaken?
What form of villainy is this
That dost spray my handle
Searing a grave insult into my flesh.

This dollop of foul evil is truly the devils work
The Bird from whence it came merely a servant of Bezel bum.
I fear as though I must answer for some wickedness before me
By smearing my extremities with its fantastic stench.

Why for any reason could some raindrop
Not guide its way down from a fair and forgiving cloud
Upon this handle
To spare my embarrassment

For now upon my hand is pure evil
It cannot be washed with water or lye
This paste is a reminder of my sin
To forget it would only lead to a further wrath.

So I turn to the sky above and smile
The powers above smile back as if to say
Gotcha bitch
This dawn is in ruins
And so am I.


  1. Oh what a nice poem!
    Bird poop is really bad for the cars paint, but rain is good!
    Mesty =)

  2. shoot that mother f*&%ker--Gandhi

  3. well written sir...

    following and supporting!

  4. I liked your perspective in this one... I'm going to have to agree with you

  5. maybe u need to take a shit in the birds nest, teach it a lesson it wont forget, a fecal lesson.
    a fecallesson
    a flesson

  6. Great post!

    looking forward to reading the next one

  7. Haha nice post, well written and funny.

  8. Ha, I read the "gotcha bitch" bit in a Dave Chappelle voice.

  9. First thought was, "you're probably over doing it." but then I realized that I was probably overdoing it so I'm just rambling on now. Good poem.

  10. lol thats funny. And it reminds me to wash my car.

  11. I love poetry, Especially when it's about the random est things.

  12. I like your post... GTL and blogging FTW!

  13. When it comes to your post, GTL can also stand for "Great Thoughts at Length"... keep it up!

  14. followin 'n' supportin bro :)


  15. You've made some interesting points... I also have some points (actually bubbles) on Enhanced by MS Paint :)

  16. Well composed and very poetic =D

  17. I have to agree with you here. Check out my other TS blog, Swift Fanatics!