Friday, August 24, 2012
My room-mate and I have recently discovered a sandwich that combines to flavours that should not in any way shape or form come together. As a result we have a sandwich that is just damned tasty but also filled with shame.
To combine these ingredients in front of company or family members would result in complete banishment from the kitchen for all time. People who have not sampled the shame sandwich and do not realise it’s addictive properties, will simply look at the ingredient list and claim all of this “new taste sensation” “sandwich of the century” talk to be complete poppycock. Don’t let those bastards win. You make the shame sandwich and in the right circles, hold your head up high and fistbump others that know about it too.
In an unprecidented move I am going to “come out” and tell you exactly what to do to make this sandwich a possibility. After I do, I urge you to give it a go and make one, but in secret.
The ingredients are going to have you calling me an absolute maniac. You are going to toss around words like, “sandwich terrorist”, “Bread masochist” and maybe even “dick” but I assure you, it will flip your fucking world on end and have you questioning all forms of flavour combinations.
Get some bread, brown bread with grainy flax bits and stuff that makes you poop will add more crunch.
Toast that bread, lightly toasted. If you enjoy black toast, you’re a fucking sicko to begin with, this sandwich isn’t for you.
Peanut butter that toasty toasty bread. Use crunchy peanut butter, not natural you want a sweet flavour.
This is the gamechanger, brace yourself for this..No its not Jam! God! people have been doing that for way too long!
No, the forth step involves getting some bics yum yum pickles and arranging them atop the peanut butter in a consistent layer.
As you bite into the sandwich of peanut butter and sweet sweet pickles, your mind will be blown and you will also feel the true nature of shame for combining these two ingredients. They shouldn’t in any respect, ever go together, but they do. Eating this sandwich in the future, will cause you to feel the utmost shame. Making it will require secrecy so do so only in private. Never let anyone know of your addictions and when possible get at least one other person on the bandwagon so that if you are confronted for making a sandwich that is “wrong”, “gross sounding” or “uggy” as some would say about this, you can have at least one person to back you up.
Posted by Cpt Pownzor at 10:23 AM